Guys, come and join me for my live show.
Yes, I couldn’t make it to your town but I can make it to your living room.
FRIDAY 14th JULY 7PM
Get your tickets here and now –
With special guests and an hour and a half of stand-up comedy this is gonna be a BLAST.
See you very shortly
No need to dress up. In fact keep these jogger on and get your laughing gear on……
Please find Episode 2 of 5 minutes or so of musings and sit-down, stand-up comedy. This week we look at the Government’s policy on facemasks, heavy metal uniform and my obsession with tattoos.
Take care, big love
Well, my friends its been a while.
Just a quick note to say hi and hope you are all staying healthy, happy and behaving (this is optional).
My 2021 Tour is fixing up nicely, and from Somerset to Glasgow it’s looking like a helluva tour. I can’t get wait to get on that stage again, the writing process is fun but there’s nothing like making an audience laugh. Together with music festivals, comedy festivals and some very special one off gigs it is indeed something to look forward to.
In fact to try out some new material I am looking at releasing wee 5 minute stand-up shows every Friday. Well, more like sit-down. So I will hopefully see you all this Friday for Episode 1. I’ll be on facebook, twitter, instagram and other social media platforms (but not Tik Tok cause I don’t know what it is)
And thank you for buying The Call and Resurrection Mill – I am very grateful indeed.
Right, my tea’s ready so I’m off.
In this time of bad news, unemployment, BREXIT and Covid-19 the world needs it’s yin to its yang. And by God the Outlaw Orchestra supply this ray of sunshine fun. The sun is out and as I’m playing Pantomime Villains the lock down is forgotten and instead I feel like I’m being carried through life in a wheelbarrow full of Opal Fruits. Starbursts for the younger generation.
The first time I intro-ed the Outlaw Orchestra on stage I was later bitten in the thigh by an employee of a rum promoter. Two things that night left its mark on me. A fine pair of teeth and the energy, talent, stagecraft, musicianship and fun by this fantastic foursome.
Pete Briley, Ryan Smith, Alex Barter and Dave Roux are what the world needs right now and now is the perfect time for the release of Pantomime Villains their first album.
We all know (if not you should) how brilliant they are live. During their Ramblin’ Man and their Winterstorm set I desperately needed to pee but my eyes were glued to the stage with their rock n roll bluegrass styling and their onstage charm. In fact Eric’s onstage (not offstage) persona , the guitarist from my book The Call is based on Dave. Fact! I think, by memory I did make it to the toilet but didn’t wash my hands as I never wanted to miss a beat of this class act (Note: this was before Covid-19 so acceptable.)
This debut album contains ten songs and begins with Take A Bow, a foot-stomper followed by the released Chicken Fried Snake. Already a live favourite and a great opening sequence of the album. I don’t smoke cigars or drink whiskey on my porch but once Hanging Tree is played I sure want to. Maybe I will just take a trip to the One Stop and sit in a chair outside rocking myself silly.
Whiskey Drinking Liar follows us to the latest single Arabia. “Where’s my camel when I need one?” says it all. In ten years time and believe me in this, in stadiums and festivals around the world, thousand upon thousands of music fans will be singing this at the top of their volumes waving their plastic pint in their hand. I want Arabia to be the theme tune of the Qatar World Cup competition. Come on guys, let’s make this a reality.
The second half of the album continues with the awesomeness of the first half which means unlike Metallica’s Black album they can play it live from start to finish if they want – and not backwards.
Jumpin’ Jive is quick energetic, dirty and sleazy. In a good way of course. Already you can imagine this live, the grins on the faces of the band, the grass taking a stomping on whatever festival its at.
In my opinion Voodoo Queen is a real grower. Certainly not my favourite on the album on first listen, by listen ten questionably my favourite. Either I’m fickle of the Spanish influence is beautiful crafted. Perhaps both.
Send Some Whiskey Home and Too much Willie Nelson completes this brilliant album.
To be honest The Outlaw Orchestra have something about them that could just about satisfy anyone. Even Katie Hopkins would reduce her hatefulness if exposed to these guys. I don’t buy that they don’t fit into a particular genre. They don’t need to. They are The Outlaw Orchestra and their uniqueness along with their writing and playing ability, stagecraft and attitude make them a genre in their own right.
So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, brothers and sisters. Get Pantomime Villains on May 29th and give your ears a treat. By the 30th I guarantee you’ll turn into a whiskey-drinking, tobacco-smoking, fast-driving, rockabilly, Psycho-billy guitar-yielding, straw dancing bundle of joy.
And when you can next go see them life. And bring Hopkins with you.
Pantomime Villians is out on the 29th May on Voodoo Queen Records.
Check it out right here:
First and foremost I sincerely wish you are all well. I hope you are finding these times bearable and you and your family are keeping healthy. I am working a little when required , heading into school once or twice a week but mainly keeping busy.
Without sounding too much like that woman priest off the telly or the Archbishop of Canterbury I find this time a good time to reflect. Maybe I do too much I think, and when this is over I have no doubt I will go back and hit life at 150 mpoh without taking a breath or smelling the flowers (which I don’t do anyway as I’ve hayfever).
However I am learning something new and rekindling my interest in space missions. Documentaries and books on the Apollo Missions are bringing out my inner-geek. I recommend it!
Also as well as jigsaws (always swear by them) I listen to an album a day. in which kind of passed me by. You know the album that you haven’t got the time to put in the work so yet haven’t reaped the rewards. (In may case, The Getaway by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and The Cosmos Rocks by Queen).
Anyway this message is to say THANK YOU. Thank you for purchasing THE CALL. It’s been lovely for me to get positive reviews and messages about the book. It’s set in my world of rock bands and festivals and is a light-hearted comedy, which hopefully will bring a bit of light relief in this time.
And sorry for my tour cancellation. When it goes ahead I will make it FREE for all punters. I just wanna hang it out with you guys over a beer and a packet of Discos.
Stay in touch.
This will pass.
Rock Roll Kindness
2020 is gonna be an awesome year. Yes, my new novel THE CALL is released. Yes, I’m hitting the road for my stand-up tour in April and May. And yes, more amazing music will be delivered by these super-talented musician types. One of these who fall in the latter category is THE CITY KIDS.
And trust me when I say this album and band are going to be the antidote for flooding, the corono-virus and Trump’s annoyingly upside down mouth.
THE CITY KIDS consists of;
DAVE SANDERS on the drums
Dave Sanders. The man, the myth, the Cumbrian cat with the hat on the sticks. There’s not a happier drummer on the planet apart from when Lars Ulrich was winning his battle against Napster. Mr Sanders , the drummer of Falling Red is quite simply a superhero. In 2019 he helped Theia out for many of their tour dates and in the same year he bought me a beer. What a legend! With Dave perched on the throne The City Kids have got a rhythmic heartbeat as strong as an ox, as reliable as Jurgen Klopp and as tireless as the Duracell bunny, but way, way cooler.
BERTY BURTON on bass duties
Mr Burton. What Angus Young is to the guitar, Berty Burton is to the bass. The Tigertailz, Popestars, Demon Speed bassist who brings joy, musicianship and a sense of theatre every time that grin hits the stage. With performing bass duties for Beth Blade and the Beautiful Disasters Mr Burton makes Flea look like a cardboard stationary cut-out. I first saw the alchemist Berty Burton playing bass for The Last Great Dreamers and he simply made me happy. Very happy. I felt it was 1991 again and I was against the barrier trying to get Steve Harris’s attention. But Burton smiles more. And doesn’t need to wear shorts.
DENNIS POST guitar and vocals
Dennis Post. The Dennis Post. Yes Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, brothers and sisters. Denis Post from Warrior Soul is not only in the house but firmly on guitar and vocal duties and that means one thing. Rock and Roll. That could be two things. It doesn’t matter. What matters is Dennis Post – yes, Dennis Post is on board. Many people in the world would like to be handled like of Post’s axes. The guy is a Don. Storm Dennis? Absolutely, but this storm isn’t just hot wind (see what I did there?), Storm Dennis is one of the coolest, most talented and aw-inspiring guitarists out there. And believe me, he will blow you away. Fences wont be falling. Your belief of normality will be when you hear the magical sounds he can make with that damn guitar.
JJ WATT guitar and vocals
The City Kids is JJ’s brainchild. And anything that spawns from JJ is either going to be a horrendous unfathomable devilish disaster or a work of utter genius. Thankfully The City Kids is the latter. Unfinished business is never nice, a wise man once said that. Possibly Jon Bon Jovi. But this time the world would be grateful as JJ’s unfinished business with The Main Grains meant in 2020 The City Kids would be spawned and dominate the globe. With a combination of well-structured brilliant songwriting with a glorious sound that makes you feel the need to down a bottle of bourbon whilst saluting the world, JJ has made a monster. A monster of creative genius. The V+A museum is now the second most artistic cultural hub of Dundee. JJ Watt is the first. The thought of seeing JJ, cap over his eyes, Newcastle Brown next to him, singing and playing The City Kids material live will be like that first cup of tea in the morning after a kebab the night before. Simply sweet.
Look out for THE CITY KIDS forthcoming album Things That Never Were out soon
JJ appears in THE CALL – The novel – available now for pre-release
Happy Weekend Peoples,
Its now nearly 50 days into 2020 and there’s exciting times ahead.
It’s been an ace 6 weeks or so, working away, I’ve already had the honour to host two amazing gigs – Stone Broken and Western Sand for Muttley’s Birthday Bash at the Iron Road and the first Dementia Fest of 2020 in Wolverhampton.
Resurrection Mill has been selling well (thank you so, so much) and The Call is now completed. Yes, completed. My radio show is still every Saturday and next week I’m airing at interview with the Leigh Matty form the brilliant Romeo’s Daughter – so make sure you tune in to that. She’s amazing. – Tune in every Saturday www.mmhradio.co.uk 10am to midday.
The Call will be released on the 1st May but I will bring out a sneaky collection of copies when I hit the road on the ‘Self-help and sporadic hairs’ tour in April and May. Releasing a novel is always an exciting but nervous time. You put your heart and soul into these pages and prey that it’s not complete shit. But in the words of Margarita Gakis. “Finished crap can be edited. Unfinished greatness languishes forever.”
The Call, my new novel is based around this new wold of the resurgence of rock music. It contains the fictional classic rock band Raven Black Whiskey Stone and their rise to the top. It also contains cameos from many of my favourite bands in the UK rock circuit right now, so look out for them making an appearance – including Theia, The Rocket Dolls, Wayward Sons, Ryders Creed and so much more. I’m very much looking forward to get it out there. The author proof copy gets delivered tomorrow so that will be a little brown trouser time in K Mally HQ.
I’m also writing my new set in preparation for my tour. I can’t wait to get back on the road with my new stand-up show. Please, grab your tickets if you can. I’m opening in Chester, then playing London, Stoke, Deal, Cannock and Burton. Lyndon Webb is my special guest and London as the incredible Guthrie and Shynne to join the party, Touring is always a nervous experience, getting bums on seats, paying booking fees etc but when you hear the laughter it’s always worth it. The tour starts in April and runs through to the end of May. I’ll be 46 when the tour starts. I’ll be 47 when it finishes – exciting times indeed. Grab your tickets today if you can. Only a fiver- whooooo.
Next weekend I can’t wait to host RockPool in Blackpool and what an honour that will be. 10 bands but with the sensational Ravenbreed, Revival Black and Scarlet Rebels present – the talent in the Waterloo that night will be immense.
Bring on the chips, candy floss and rock and roll. And in the words of Marco Mendoza “Viva La Rock”